Brace yourselves — we’ve entered Scorpio season. The intensity of the eighth sign of the zodiac is already in full force, with all of its powerful energy focused on one day in the coming month: No matter what constellation you were born under, it’s in everyone’s horoscope to go vote on Nov. 6. It’s written in the stars! Who are we to defy the cosmos?
Following that fateful day, the zodiac’s next shared obsession — ‘tis the season to obsess, after all — will be Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (Nov. 16). In the slow-moving weeks before that release, find out which Wizarding World stories you’ll want to revisit to pass the time in your Harry Potter horoscope. But outside these monocultural moments? We’re all on our own. Here’s the breakdown, sign by sign, of the other movies, books, series, and songs that will get you through Thanksgiving.
ARIES (March 21 to April 19)
All you want for Christmas — or for the month before Christmas, as it happens — is new music from everyone’s favorite elusive Aries chanteuse. Well lucky you, Mariah Carey is gracing us all with a 15th album, Caution (Nov. 16) — the title of which applies to everyone but you, fierce ram, obviously. Now go ahead and enter the last few weeks of 2018 on a very, very high note.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20)
Elegant bull! As one of the most becoming signs of the zodiac, your month will be dedicated to Becoming (Nov. 13), the new memoir from Michelle Obama, stately Capricorn. The former FLOTUS chronicles her life from Chicago’s South Side to D.C.’s Pennsylvania Avenue and everywhere in between in her new book, and while you admired her already for her dignity and poise, the strength and determination on display in her life story will make you love her all the more.
GEMINI (May 20 to June 20)
As every Gemini knows, two directors are better than one. And while we’re at it, aren’t six movies better than one? And also, while we’re on the subject, aren’t six-movie movies that are dark and hilarious, violent and childlike, lonely and star-studded, full of old-school Western tropes but dropped on thoroughly modern streaming — aren’t movies like that really the best of all possible worlds? Obviously yes! Okay, twins, have fun with the Coen Brothers’ The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (Netflix, Nov. 16). It’s really everything you could possibly want.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22)
Darling Cancer! You know all too well The Pains of Growing (Nov. 30), so your fellow crab (and the Grammys’ Best New Artist) Alessia Cara has devoted her whole second album to expressing that unique agony. We know the pains are keeping you up at night, but let these 15 soulful tracks be the balm to soothe you.
LEO (July 23 to Aug. 22)
Ready for a little friendly competition, Leo? How about… slightly less friendly? You’ll get fired up this month watching Yorgos Lanthimos’ The Favourite (Nov. 23), in which Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz play cousins in 18th century England vying to become the court favorite of Queen Anne (Olivia Colman). Royalty and a high-stakes popularity contest? This has got your name written all over it! And for the record, yes, we know that you’re everyone’s favo(u)rite.
VIRGO (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan novels approached perfection in such a way that you can appreciate. So it almost goes without saying that HBO’s upcoming adaptation My Brilliant Friend (Nov. 18) will be perfectly suited to you as well, loyal Virgo. You can connect to its tale of a very long friendship — you’re no Gemini, let’s just say — but even moreso, perhaps, to Ferrante’s profound understanding of the complexities of such a bond. And also, let’s be honest: There’s no greater joy in life, or at least on television, than analyzing the fidelity of an adaptation to its source material, is there?
LIBRA (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)
We’d like to extend our sincerest condolences, Libra, that Halloween — not to mention your birthday — is over. But hey, you know the great thing about this time of year? The next party is just around the corner! Netflix is going to hook you up this month with the sparkliest pre-holiday season content you could possibly hope for. Get a magic-romantic start with The Holiday Calendar (Nov. 2), follow it up with a little royal wish fulfillment by streaming The Princess Switch (Nov. 16), then close out the month with some Yuletide hijinks in The Christmas Chronicles (Nov. 22). And then voilà! Cookies-and-champagne season is upon us!
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)
You deserve a bit of a laugh on your birthday, don’t you think? Oh, but don’t worry, Scorpio, we would never send you off to some idiotic studio comedy. For a bit of humor as pitch-black as your own refined scorpion sensibility, turn instead to My Sister, the Serial Killer (Nov. 20), Oyinkan Breathwaite’s hilariously dark novel of murder and sisterhood. Happy birthday to you!
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
Beautiful archer! You’ve got a few weeks to kill before your own birthday season, so why not sign up for a little televised globe-trotting? This month, AMC unveils its new John le Carré adaptation The Little Drummer Girl (Nov. 19), directed by South Korean auteur Park Chan-wook, and the six-part spy drama will keep you guessing — and in such style! — in the waning days of Scorpio season, right before the liveliest month of the year.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
You’re formidable, Cap. When you set your mind to something, the whole night sky would have to be in retrograde to stand in your way. You need to use your power for good, though, sweet celestial sea-goat. For a timely demonstration of the destruction that a person of your sign can create, look no further than Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes’s Hollywood (Nov. 13). Karina Longworth’s history of Howard Hughes, a commanding Capricorn, pays special attention to his sexual power plays in such a way that rings painfully true in today’s climate. If there’s anyone who can handle a painful truth, though, it’s you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
You were instantly lovestruck, brilliant water bearer, when you were first introduced to FilmStruck two short years ago — only to be rendered dumbstruck just last week, when Turner and Warner Bros. Digital Networks pulled the plug on the cinephile’s streaming service. Your mission this month is simple. You have until Nov. 29, when the site goes dark, to tear through your watchlist. Visit Rome Open City! Get In the Mood for Love! Learn The Rules of the Game! Tell a Tokyo Story! Pull a whole month’s worth of arthouse all-nighters if you have to, Aquarius, but don’t let FilmStruck die in vain. Then will come the time for mourning.
PISCES (Feb. 19 to March 20)
Vincent van Gogh was a fiery Aries (with the sun-colored paints to prove it), but it’s Pisces who will fall in love with Julian Schnabel’s film about the Dutch artist, considering that you, more than any other sign, truly spend your life At Eternity’s Gate (Nov. 16). Willem Dafoe stars as the iconic post-impressionist in this artful adaptation of his gorgeous perspective rather than a grim adaptation of his troubled life (don’t worry, darling fishes, you don’t have to actually witness the bloody details of the whole ear episode). Van Gogh may not have been a Pisces, but his beautiful vision — like yours — was truly ahead of its time. Here’s to infinity.